Monthly Archives: October 2012

The Flat: A bedtime story


For many that don't know, October encompasses the day my hubby James "unofficially" proposed (16), my son's birthday (17) and James birthday (22). Since it’s coming up on 3 months since James death (21st) and with my son on tour in Afghanistan, its a bit MORE emotional for me. (Hey don't judge me, I am being honest here so work with me please).

I pop out to show my face at the Social Excellence event on Wednesday night, showing support for my homeboy Nicoh David. I leave the event and I am on the way home, praising God, listening to TD Jakes and preaching to my rearview mirror and the back seat. (Don't give me that look you do it too). Anyway, I get ready to get on Lake Shore Drive at Rooseveltin Chicago, and I hear this thumping on my car. WHAT? I jump out to look and my tire is flat! DEAR JESUS SON OF GOD HEAVEN AND EARTH!! Ok, I back up 1.5 blocks (don't judge me I told you), turn around and go to the gas station on Wabash and Roosevelt road.

What do you think is the first thing I did? Take a guess. I picked up my phone to call my hubby James! Then I said, "wait he's not here". I thought about calling my son and realized he wasn't around either. I sat there for a moment, rain pouring down outside, and I was a bit broken with tears in my eyes. I called my daughter Amber and she got her  boyfriend to offer to come and help. I then looked at my hubby's obituary that I keep in the car and started talking to him (Ya work with what you have people). I started to cry and told him how much I really relied on him without giving it a second thought. He was my keeper, my king, my protector, my shield, my angel; and he would have been there quickly to rescue me.

Anyway, the car was taken care of and on the drive home, I finished preaching my sermon to myself, I thanked God for having a "ram in the bush" for me (with my daughter and her boyfriend saving the day), for not allowing me to be driving on the expressway when the flat happened, for the many years that he loaned James to me, and for getting me home safe and snug in my bed. #GodIsLove


Make it a great night FB family!

The “Unofficial” Proposal 1

I decided to share this with you all in hopes that it will bless someone.

October 16th 15 years ago, I received a phone call from a guy I was dating at the time (James) to tell me that he loved me and missed me. He then asked to speak to my daughter who was 9 at the time. She leaves the room and they have this 10 minute conversation. She runs back to hand me the phone and she is just smiling and bubbly. I get the phone and asked him what he said to her. He said,

"I told her how much I loved you, her and her brother. I told her that I enjoyed spending time with you all and that I wanted to make it more permanent. Then I asked her if it was OK if I walked up to you one day and said, "He whispered my name, would you marry me?"

Ok, that flew OVER my head. I started fussing and he said well, will you? I was like HUH? WHAT? Are you serious? Over the phone? My daughter was jumping up and down with her brother so I arrogantly said, "I'll think about it but can't really answer until I get a ring" We chatted a bit longer and then I hung up and dreamed about him that night. Time went on and I went on about my daily routines but the thought was there that he actually proposed to me in an odd sort of way. He later "officially" proposed with a ring (i will share that story later).

The lesson is that he accepted me and my children and that while I did not have my dad around for him to ask, he thought it was important enough to inquire with my children and get the "green light" before proceeding. We were married for 13.5 years until he lost his battle with brain cancer July 21, 2012. I do these reflections to remind myself and others that each memory is so precious and that I would take all of the challenging days we had just to hold my best friend again.

Love unconditionally! #BeautifulMemories

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